miles stephen roberts
may 5, 2013
8lb; 19 inches
I had a c-section, I was four days overdue, and I was exhausted.
here’s what happened:
dr. appt. no progress. no contractions. if you don’t progress, your chances of a c-section are high, she told me.
I’ll progress, I thought.
7 pm out to dinner with greg’s family.
No contractions. This baby’s not coming anytime soon, I told them.
10 pm contractions
10:02 pm contractions
10:04 pm contractions
10:06 pm contractions
10:30 pm uh, greg, I think this baby might be coming soon
12 am bags packed, at the hospital
hooked up to iv’s. heart racing. what have we gotten ourselves into?
let’s wait an hour to see your progression, said the nurse
12:10 am contractions slow
12:40 am contractions even more slow
okay, greg, the baby’s not coming. let’s get ready to go home.
okay, we’re admitting you, said the nurse
baby’s heartbeat is a little scary. you’re going to have this baby.
cervadil to ripen cervix.
let’s try another medication
(don’t remember the name)
oxygen. slowed baby heart rate. lots of tears.
water broken. pitocin. balloon.
let’s wait and see in a few hours
no progress. oxygen. more tears.
no progress. oxygen. exhausted. pain.
lots of pain. lots and lots of pain.
probably from your infection or your tired contracting uterus.
nope, your epidural is leaking. yikes. fixed.
you’re dilated to a 3. 80% effaced.
but his heart rate is slowing. no more pitocin for you.
let’s see if your body can do it by itself.
slower. slower. stopped.
let’s get this baby out.
we’ve tried everything to get have you deliver vaginally.
90% chance c-section. 10% chance vaginal delivery.
no way in hell I can push this baby out, thought to myself
scared. sleepy. out.
little baby miles was born at 11:46 am.
where is my baby?
there was nothing more sweet than holding this little one in my arms.
I just stared at him.
grateful to have him with me, alive.
grateful to be alive.
many tears, many kisses.
more in love than I could ever have imagined.
it really didn’t matter how he got here.
I had him.
he is mine.
and I couldn’t be more in love.